The Force Awakens - Spoiler Review

EDIT: It turns out I am stupid and the whole post is visible all the time. So just make sure you scroll down very quickly to the next post.

Sooo here is everything that I didn't include in the No Spoiler Review, for obvious reasons.
Only read this if you have seen the movie or really don't care about spoilers.
Honestly

I will be discussing my fealings regarding all the important plot points, so stay away if you have yet to see The Force Awakens.

I will try to make my introduction as long as possible to make sure no spoiler will is visible on the front page, but no promises.

Of course this is a good time to talk about spoilers in general.
I think this whole spoiler hysteria went out of hand. I mean look at Final Fantasy VII. The original that came out in 1997. That was 18 years ago. It can now buy alcohol, drive a car and have sex.
It's plot is generally common knowledge. We all know that Aerith dies, Cloud has fake memories, or that Sephiroth was dead all along. I knew all of these and more when I had my first playthrough. And guess what. I loved every minute of it. Well written moments work just as well if you know they are comming. *cough* I am your father *cough*. Plus it is not the same to read: Snape kills Dumbledore in an internet forum as reading or watching that scene in the context of the whole story. If a huge blockbuster in 2015 can't affect its audience as well as a nearly two decades old console game it has failed miserably.

With that out of the way let's look at the movie!













You ready?






Your sure?









Okay. So TFA was awesome. There is no point denying that unless you are obejctively wrong.
Sure there are a few details we can nitpick about - and I totally will - but none these minor things are worse than the plotholes of the Original Trilogy, or Back to the Future II or The Matrix. Or Terminator 2 for that matter. And Jurassic Park.
So yeah, you get the idea. Yet we ignored all of those cause everything else worked. So we shall give The Force Awakens a free pass as well.

Most of the legitimate complaints against TFA can be traced back to two issues.

1. It was predictable. Very predictable. The guy who looks a lot like a young Harrison Ford, plays Han Solo's son. The tech savvy orphan living on a desert planet turns out to be Force sensitive. She's also a very good pilot.
Oh, quick question: If a good guy wants to redeem the villain while standing on a long bridge above a bottomless pit, what will happen?
If you answered: The good guy dies, you win.
And come on. Everyone figured out R2 has the missing map piece as soon as 3PO mentioned that it is impossible.

2. Very little new stuff was in it. Of course when I say new stuff I mean stuff that didn't pay homage to the OT. Granted I loved all those moments, but appart from the Knights of Ren and their 2-3 seconds of screen time, everything had at least a little bit of: "I have seen this before" flavor.
Of course it is understandable why the movie was playing it safe.
If we don't count the special editions, we have gone for 30 years without a star wars movie that wasn't utter garbage. We have also gone for 10 years without any kind of star wars movie. The last time Lucasfilm revived an old IP, it turned out to be a disaster. The last time JJ revived a sci fi frachise, he didn't quite grasp the essence of it, And quite a few people doubted that Disney is the right company to produce new star wars movies.
Considering all this it was probably a smart move by the people involved to create a movie that is essentially a soft reboot that mixes Episode IV and V and leave the experimentation to Episode VIII and IX. Now that the new team has our trust they can steer the story in all sorts of interesting directions.


Han's death and the Luke reveal also passed the FFVII test. It wasn't as shocking the first time because of its predictability, but at least the second viewing didn't take away the effect.

Another thing worth mentioning is the ammount of world building the movie and the visual dictionary does. We got a nice glimpse at what people eat on Jakku and at the entertainment in Maz's bar. We also got several new organizations, planets and events. Rakata Prime is back in canon and the VD also mentions the Scourge of Malachor. I have a feeling SWTOR will soon be completely decanonized by a Kotor remake. Whatever happens, the Lore Vampire is happy with the new details it can chew on.

Geek day

Hey folks. Remember what I said about not posting till Blizzcon?

I lied.

Well Blizzcon is a little over two hours away, but still. This day is going to be legendary in geek circles. All the stuff to talk about.

Yesterday it was announced that a Witcher movie is set for 2017. Wohooooo. Who can I play?

We also got the official synopsis for Fantastic Beasts and where to find them. It will indeed be set excluisively in new york. Mehhh

Today we are of course waiting for BlizzCon. The Warcraft movie trailer will debut and we will also get lots of new info on World of Warcraft: Legion.
But I feal I must stress that the juicy stuff will come from the deceptively short Diablo panel. There is no BlizzCon without a big reveal. Overwatch beta is underway, the movie is common knowledge, Star Craft II is near its end, Hearthstone got a new expansion recently, there is nothing major to do with Heroes of the Storm, and the next wow expansion was revealed at gamescom. Diablo is the only answer.

But before that we can still read the preliminary patch notes for As Goes Light so goes Darkness, the 3.1 patch of Final Fantasy XIV, and watch and rewatch the new japanese trailer for The Force Awakens.

The former reveals all the miriads of stuff we will get to play next tuesday. While we get fewer main scenario quests and trials compared to what has been the norm 3.1 still has more playable content than what other MMOs offer, and a generous ammount of quality of life changes are also included in the package. Once the final patch notes are here and I have put some playtime in it I will provide a more detailed description.

The latter gives us several never before seen scenes and lines of dialogue. Daisy Ridley shows us that John Boyega is not the only one who can do a superb 'oh crap' face. We also hear the latest version of BB-8's voice, along with the ever popular wilhelm scream when chewie blows some bad guys up.

Every fandom gets something
This is a good day to be a geek.

Fantastic Beasts and where you won't find any

Welcome everyone for another unscheduled blog post.
Photos are finally arriving about the new Harry Potter trilogy: Fantastic Beasts and where to find them. If the name rings a bell it is because FBAWTFT is one of the required books in Hogwarts. The new trilogy will supposedly chronicle Newt Scamander's research that lays the foundation for the book he will be famous for.

Except the movie will be set in New York City. London, Liverpool and a movie studio will be a stand in for 1920s New York.

Now there is some overlap between the habitat of the creatures in Scamander's book, but most of them only set foot on US soil if smugglers bring them there.

The places with more magical beasts than the entire North American Continent are the following: Eastern Europe, Britain, Asia, Africa, and Northern Europe. In fact Northern Europe has almost twice as many magical beasts as the US, Canada and Mexico combined. Oh and none of the creatures are indigenous to North America.

They pretty much picked the worst continent for finding fantastic beasts. And then decided to focus on one city on that continent.

Granted, the movie isn't out yet, and it will be the first installment of a trilogy but based on what we know. This won't be a good Potter movie. Then again, none of David Yates' Potter movies were.

The Default Fictional Character Test

Hello everyone.
Here I am with another unscheduled post.

Hearts of Stone, the first expansion of Witcher 3 is finally out. You may have noticed that the entire internet is talking about it. Unfortunately I haven't obtained a copy of it yet, so this won't be a review. However it is a good time to talk about the issue as some sites brought it up again.

One of the very few points of criticism against Witcher 3 was the lack of people of color. Some people argued that Sapkowski's universe was based on medieval Poland, so its okay for everyone being a pale skinned redhead. Others claimed that since the Witcher series is set in a fantasy universe, everything goes. I really love asian cultures but with that logic we should have head giant mechas in Lord of the Rings.

Another game comming out in the near future is Assassin's Creed Syndicate and right after the highly anticipated 10 terrabyte day one patch. Syndicate will finally have a playable female character after people at Ubisoft repeatedly told us that animating women is a lot of work. Or something.

Now instead of pointing fingers at racist, sexist and whateverist developers and filmmakers, let's play a game. Everybody loves games, right? So, you probably heard of the bechdel test and the sexy lamp test. Now here is my test. The Default Fictional Character Test.

If you know your history you are aware that when the phrase: "All men are created equal" was coined, men meant white, straight, upper middle class, angol saxon protestant males.
This could make a pretty good template for a default fictional character. Let's throw in undisabled as well.

Now, think of a character that isn't like this. Someone who deviates from one or more points. Got it? Okay, now think of what this adds to the story or how it explains his or her character a bit better.
If you couldn't think of anything, I have bad news for you. It really is a waste of time to change that character from the default.

Representation for representation's sake is just as insulting as leaving someone out.
"Hey there, black guy. We need to fill our quota of black guys. Come here and be just like everyone else." Not good, isn't it?

Let me give you a few examples:

Albus Dumbledore. It is common knowledge that Snape kills him. It is also common knowledge that he is gay. Also, these two points are completely unrelated. But his sexuality isn't just an interesting piece of trivia. It explains why he left himself be influenced so strongly by an evil wizard and caused the event that lead to his sister's death. He was totally in love with Grindelwald. Love makes you stupid. Nothing new with this. It also makes you form pacts with bad guys and vow to gather all the artifacts that play crucial roles in the story. Like the invisibility cloak that was the reason he got in touch with the Potters. And the stone with which he wanted to bring back his dead sister. You know, the one in the ring that cursed him with a terminal ilness that made him accept his death at the end of book six. Wow, the series would have been totally different with a straight Dumbledore.

Tifa Lockhart. She is a woman. A very sexy woman. But could she have been a guy? Not really, cause she was put into the story to give Cloud a love interest after Aerith dies. But more importantly, it is an important aspect of her character arc. When she was a child her dream was for the big brave SOLDIER hero, Cloud, to save her from perill. Yes, she pretty much wanted to be a damsel in distress. Of course when the Nibelheim incident happened she quickly learned from Sephiroth that being a damsel in distress in pretty bad. So she decided she had enough of DiD suffering heroes not saving her and learned kung fu. This wouldn't have worked with Terence Lockhart.

Covetous Shen. The hungry and lusftul jeweler in Diablo III. In an unexpected but much appreciated move he wasn't designed as a jewish caricature. No, he is chinese. Why? Well probably because he is Zei, the trickster god in Xiansai mythology. And you all know what Xiansai is like. This also gives us a good opportunity to learn more about the culture of Xiansai and enrich the setting. It helps the game that he is from a far eastern asia inspired land.

Toph Beifong. I already mentioned my favorite Avatar character when I compared her to Yuffie. So what about her? Well she is a small blind girl on the outside and a really buff guy on the inside. Also, she is the mellon lord, but that's not the point. Her blindness is very important. First, it is because of her disability that her parents don't take her seriously and protected her in extreme ways like hiding her existence from the outside world. She understandably resents them for this. Her condition also explains why she is so good at bending. She cannot with her eyes so she is pretty much forced to see with her bending, much like the original earth benders, the badgermoles. This was she forms a much more intimate connection with the earth. This helps her to defeat all her opponents, who by the way underestimate her for being a blind little girl. Also, the jokes related to her blindness are the best ones in the series. Both series.


Now let's make a witcher character non white. Like Azar Javed. Oh, wait, he is already not. Okay, Shani. Let's make her Xia Ni a chinese (looking) girl. Don't change anything else, just this. Honestly I don't know how this would have satisfied anyone.

Character traits should only be there if the story requires it to be there. Otherwise they are pointless.

There is one exception though. Average looking people, otherwise known  as too ugly for hollywood people. There is no reason to point at people that don't look like Brad Pitt, or draw atteniton to ugly girls that are not Amanda Seyfired with uncombed hair and hipster glasses. However it is pretty insulting to us, non-models how the media portrays both genders. In the original beauty and the beast Ron Perlman had to sit for hours while his makeup was applied. In the new version some random prettyboy is the beast. We know he is the beast cause he has scar on his chin. Oliver Queenn wasn't originally like this either. We need more normal looking people.